


The Intimacy Conundrum

by Everettevans



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Innocence, Insecurity, Romance, Self-Acceptance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:55:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25093474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Everettevans/pseuds/Everettevans
Summary: Sheldon always thinks that he excels in everything he does, including his skill in coitus. A conversation with the other guys, however, makes him rethink this statement, leaving a trail of insecurity and doubt in his relationship with Amy.This is a look of how a painfully vanilla guy like Sheldon try to spice things up in the bedroom and failed miserably.
Relationships: Sheldon Cooper/Amy Farrah Fowler
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> This plot bunny has been bugging my mind for several days already so I decided to just go for it even though I have no clear idea how it would end.
> 
> Initially, I was thinking to make it as a long one-shot kind of story but as it's already dawn here and I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer, I decided to make it as a short multi-chapter one. The next part hopefully would be finished in a few days.
> 
> Until then, please enjoy!
> 
> P.s. if you have anything you would like to see in this story, I would be open to suggestion :)

Howard and Raj quickly took a seat in front of Sheldon in the cafeteria. It's a normal routine for them to eat together during lunch hour and today is no different. The only thing missing is Leonard but then again his latest project is time-consuming.

"So, how was it?" Raj asked Howard while taking a small bite of his ham sandwich.

Sheldon looked up from his phone but when he noticed that Raj is not talking to him, he returned to his texting as it was quite urgent for him to inform his wife that he would need her to take him to an impromptu grocery shopping after work today.

"Bernie and I talked about it. She said she would consider it." Howard replied after taking a sip of his ice tea.

"Nice. I never try it but I always heard that it was-"

Before he could reply, Leonard took a seat next to Sheldon and cut him off, "Try what?"

Raj and Howard shared a secretive look before Howard answered him while glancing at Sheldon who seemed to be preoccupied with his phone, "You know, the one we talked about wanting to try out a few days ago."

Leonard grinned stupidly, "Ohh, that! Yeah, you really should! Penny was the one who suggested it to me and well I was quite unsure but surprisingly-"

Feeling a bit left out, Sheldon put down his phone and decided to join the conversation, cutting Leonard off momentarily, "I'm sorry, gentlemen. I was just telling Amy that we had miscalculated the amount of milk we need for our cereal this week. It must be because the amount of baking Amy had been doing these past few days that made us run out of milk sooner than my calculation predicted. What are we talking about again?"

The three other occupants of the table shared another secretive look as they are not sure how to broach the subject to Sheldon.

"Buddy, I don't think you'd like to know it." Leonard answered cautiously.

Sheldon raised an eyebrow at that and with a frustrated sigh he replied, "I'm sure I would like to know. Once my curiosity is picked, there is no turning back. Come on, lay it on me."

"Are you sure? It's just, this topic might not be something you would be most comfortable to discuss."

"Yes, Leonard. I'm sure." Shaking his head at Leonard's stupidity. Leonard has known him for more than two decades already. He should know better that he could not just let it rest without knowing what it was.

"It's sexual in nature, Sheldon." Howard answered.

That gives him a pause but does not deter him from wanting to know.

"I don't mind. As you know, Amy and I have been engaging in regular coitus now so whatever you were discussing, I can assure you is no longer unfamiliar territory for me."

"Yeah, we don't need to know that." Raj replied while shaking his head at Sheldon's logic. Despite no longer being a virgin, Sheldon is still the most innocent guy of them all and a lot of things he does with Amy would still be painfully vanilla. Raj then shuddered at the thought of Sheldon having sex.

Wiping his mouth, Howard then looked up at Sheldon and answered, "It's about using toys in the bedroom, Sheldon."

Leonard grinned stupidly again at Howard, "Howard wants to try it with Bernadette but not sure how to broach the subject so he asked me. I tried it several times already with Penny and it was-"

"Why would you want to play with toys during coitus? I don't think playing with toys when you are supposed to concentrate on your wives would be a polite thing to do, not to mention unsanitary." Sheldon shuddered at the thought of his model train anywhere near Amy's rear end.

Howard chuckled mockingly at the answer, "This is why we don't talk about this around you, Sheldon."

Sheldon frowned at the rude comment but he still does not get it. Isn't it impolite to be focusing on something else while sharing an intimate moment with your significant other? He remembers when he brought up the subject of wanting to start the Flash series while making out with Amy on their fifth anniversary and suddenly Amy's kissy face turned into an angry face which in the end, led to their break-up. If thinking about something else other than your woman while being intimate with her could ignite that kind of reaction, he wouldn't even imagine what Amy would do to him if he decided to play with one of his model trains during their most private moment.

"Sheldon, what Howard meant is using sex toys in the bedroom. You know, like a vibrator, dildo or for starters, a handcuff."

"Now you want to tie her down? Like being married to you guys is not enough?" Sheldon asked incredulously. What's wrong with these people? First they want to play with toys and now those said toys are used to make sure their woman could not get away from their sexual advancement. What if they don't want to? Does consent mean nothing to his friends?

"No, no, Sheldon. It's like a foreplay. Think about it this way, you like to kiss Amy right before you go down to business?" Raj tried to explain.

Sheldon nodded but still looked at his friends worriedly. Should he talk to Penny and Bernadette about their husbands' plan or should he just go straightaway to the police before they do something they would regret later on especially in the heat of the moment?

"Some people like it vanilla, like you. Kissing your woman, caressing her, touching her and for these people, such acts are enough to ignite pleasure. Other people, however, like to spice things up so it would not get boring hence the toys and handcuff."

Leonard nodded at the explanation and decided to add something, "Yeah, some people find it really pleasurable when they are tied down and being left at the mercy of their partner. That's why they use a handcuff or scarf, or just tie if you don't have any."

"Bernadette seems to be more receptive to the use of vibrators though." Howard added happily.

This resulted in a chuckle from Leonard and Raj, "You lucky dog!"

"I'm sorry, gentlemen. I'm still not sure of how being tied down without the ability to get away from you is pleasurable and I don't understand how a vibrator could add simulation to a female's genitalia, not to mention what is exactly a dildo anyway?"

"Don't be like that, Sheldon. Just because you and Amy like to take it painfully vanilla, doesn't mean other people enjoy the same thing." Leonard commented.

"Poor, Amy. Never knows any better." Raj said as he shook his head.

"Excuse me? Why did you say poor Amy? I assured you I can satisfy my wife just fine!" Bothered by the comments, Sheldon quickly stood up and threw away his remaining lunch and stormed out of the cafeteria.

"Told you guys we shouldn't bring Sheldon into this."

***

Later that night while laying down next to his wife after an unscheduled coitus which may or may not be prompted by his friends' doubt of his sexual prowess, Sheldon couldn't shake the feeling that he was wrong while his friends were right.

He remembered the first time he had given himself away to Amy and how satisfied her face looked, with dreamy eyes and small smile playing on the corner of his wife's mouth that lasted for several days after that. In the time where they shared a night at the cabin while playing Never Have I Ever with Penny and Leonard, Amy had also said that he rocked her world. He's quite convinced then that the term he's always good at everything he does also includes his performance in the bedroom, after all Amy is always so enthusiastic whenever he indicates that he wants to be intimate with her.

Right now, however, he couldn't help but notice the different level of excitement compared to their first time. He always makes sure to bring his wife to orgasm first before seeking his own, sometimes more than once but is it not enough like his friends said? Does it get too mundane after several times doing it considering the technicality is more or less the same? Does this what it means to spice things up?

His mind wandered to the first fight they shared as a married couple on the subject of him having a schedule for their sexual endeavor. He remembered Amy's refusal to follow his to-do-list by saying that she's not in the mood to be intimate with him. That was the second time she refused to be intimate. The first one being her refusal to procreate with him a few years ago. He does not understand. She's the one who suggested that their combined DNA would create a highly evolved progeny and it was only after their first time meeting each other and then about her refusal after they got married, wasn't it what she wanted? For him to be more physical with her? What has changed?

He could not help but wonder, does that mean Amy is getting tired of being intimate with him? Does Amy feel having coitus with him is not as enjoyable as he finds it to be? Amy refused him just several days after their marriage and now he could notice the difference in her enthusiasm level compared to the first time they made love.

Oh no! His mind started to panic. What would become of them if he could not perform his husbandly duty to her? He does not want her to find him boring or unsatisfactory because such thoughts could lead to resentment and before he realized it, she would try to find solace in another man's arms. Does this make his dad cheat on his mom? He does not want it to happen to his marriage.

"Hey, Sheldon. What's wrong?" Amy took a notice of her husband's quickened heartbeat and labor breathing.

Looking down at her, Sheldon gently kissed her forehead and drew her closer into his arm.

"Amy, are you satisfied with our physical relationship?" He asked straightforwardly.

Amy looked up to her husband, looking a bit confused by the question before answering "What makes you ask that?"

"Just something Leonard, Howard and Raj said today."

"I guess yes. I enjoyed what we have right now." Sheldon kissed her nose at her answer, momentarily satisfied with it before another insecurity creeps up to him again.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to answer me with an answer you thought I will be most satisfied with, Amy."

She rubs his arm in comfort, "Yes, Sheldon. What did Leonard, Howard and Raj talk to you about?"

"They said that they want to tie their women down with a handcuff and use a vibrator on them along with another toy called a dildo. I don't know what it is! They said because I'm too painfully vanilla, I will not understand the pleasure of doing it. They were right, Amy! The thought of doing that to you terrifies me!"

He answered while blushing furiously but such embarrassment stopped abruptly when he saw Amy's disappointed face. Oh no, they were right. Amy is going to leave me because I couldn't satisfy her.

"Why does the thought of doing those things terrify you?"

"I-I don't want to force myself on you, Amy. I love you too much. I couldn't hurt you intentionally and to be honest, how could anyone think forcing oneself to another person is pleasurable? I don't know what people think in California but from where I come from, that is considered rape!" He started to breath faster now. No matter how much he loves his wife, the thought of tying her down and just taking what he wants from her body is just too much to bear. How could anyone think such an act is pleasurable?

Amy's hand on his cheek stopped him from an oncoming panic attack. She forced his eyes to meet hers and he could see the concern on her face, "Sheldon? Sheldon? Hey, we would not be doing that if you don't want to, okay?"

He nodded numbly but still couldn't shake the feeling that he had disappointed her somehow considering the look on her face right after he asked her that question, "Are you disappointed?"

Amy looked thoughtful for a moment before deciding to give him an honest answer, "I guess, I'm always curious what it would feel like to spice things up. Penny likes to tell us what she had tried with Leonard and her exes in the bedroom and maybe those stories made the scientist in me want to try them out but it's okay if you don't want to. We can just be Sheldon and Amy. Not to mention, I have my electric toothbrush, Gerald, to give me, at least, an idea of what vibrator feels like." With this she gave him a wink and curled up on her right side of the bed to sleep.

Instead of reassuring him, her answer rattled him more than before.

He remembered Penny's story about Amy's toothbrush from a few years ago which in the beginning made him feel unsettled but did not prompt him to do anything about the information and when they started to get physical, he thought that she does not need to have it anymore as he could easily achieve what she used that toothbrush for.

Oh Lord! Despite saying the other thing, she clearly is not satisfied with him alone!

His rational part of the brain thought that it is completely ridiculous to be jealous of an inanimate object but the other part that controls the more irrational thoughts trumps his rational argument at the moment. It may start with a toothbrush right now but what if it evolves to another man? Someone who is taller, more handsome, and definitely more willing to do those things with Amy that he's afraid to do.

She would not leave him, right? After all, their best connection is their mind, not their physical relationship. As long as he could keep this connection alive by challenging her mind, she will always be with him and no one else but then his mind wandered again to the collaboration she had with Howard and the time she gave her insight to Barry Kripke out of all people. Amy has no qualms in collaborating with other men. In fact, if he remembered correctly, she's so enthusiastic to collaborate with others that she almost would be the first one to suggest such collaboration!

He always hates it when she collaborates with others especially because it always takes a lot of her free time but what he hates the most is, he always finds their intellectual connection is what makes their relationship so special. If she could find the same connection with basically every other man in her life, what chance does he have now? Considering their physical relationship is going down the drain.

He couldn't lose her. He doesn't know what he would do if Amy leaves him. Amy always takes care of him. Sweet, gentle, loving, and kind Amy who could have anyone in the world but generous enough to stay with him, even marrying him, despite his many flaws and quirks. How long before Amy realizes that he's not enough?

Consumed by insecurity and fear of Amy abandoning him, he snuggled her from behind to relish the fact that she's his. For now his traitor mind supplied. He sleeps restlessly after that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I just want to say that this story is mostly from Sheldon's perspective so I tried to imagine what he would think when he's faced with a certain situation he's unfamiliar with. Considering that the Sheldon I imagine is a pretty vanilla guy, certain sexual acts may seem horrifying for him but it's in no way shaming people who love a kinkier relationship.

He ignored his friends for the rest of the week after that, especially in the university. He'd rather eat lunch with his wife than listening to his friends talk about their sexual life and feeling inadequate about himself. Amy, after all, is an excellent conversationalist and her presence delights him so it's not really a loss for Sheldon.

It does not mean he's not curious though. His friends mentioned that some things might even increase sexual stimuli and bring the partner closer together than before so he tried to keep an open mind and do some research about this matter further on the internet.

Much to his surprise, some keywords he used led him to a range of what seems to be a video of people having coitus wearing a lot of leathers and a forum called BDSM. After reading a brief explanation of the forum and tried to watch some of the tamer videos, Sheldon was horrified.

Even the tamer ones have people being whipped and tied down from the ceiling. Such an act of violence goes against everything Sheldon knows about coitus itself. Closing his eyes for a few seconds while taking a few calming breaths, Sheldon tried to compose himself. His hand itched to just close down his laptop and forget this endeavor entirely especially as he's still in his office and it would not do his reputation any good if anyone sees what he's searching at the moment but then his mind was replaying the conversation he had with his friends a few days before and the pitying look Raj gave him. He does not want his physical relationship with Amy to be the subject of mockery and pitying glance. He already received those treatments years ago and while he does not completely understand the situation itself, he does not want Amy to continue to be the receiving end of such treatments.

He took one last breath and opened his eyes. Clearly searching people being tied down during coitus would lead him to a dangerous place that he's not ready to venture just yet. He then decided to use the keywords vibrator and dildo and immediately his eyes were assaulted with a brightly colored what seems like a dog's chew toy that he vaguely remembers finding in Penny's wardrobe a few years ago.

Curious on how that kind of toy is being used in the bedroom considering some of them look like a giant penis that may not fit comfortably inside a woman's vagina like a normal penis would, he clicked at one of the shorter videos. He was sure such a toy is mostly for decoration or maybe a measurement device but once again, he was horribly wrong. He watched as that gigantic toy was pushed inside a tiny lady's vagina at the same time as her man pushed his penis inside her rear end. That must not be comfortable considering the disproportion of their size, even though his mind did momentarily wonder at the similarity of the actors' size to his and Amy's, but as the woman cried out and struggled against her bindings, he shook his head to clear the image and immediately closed this laptop.

He was breathing heavily and for a moment, he was considering calling Amy and telling her about his oncoming panic attack but he did not want Amy to see him like this, not to mention he could not explain what triggered it in the first place. He took a deep breath and tried to focus his mind on one thing, right now is the sound of a ticking clock in his office. It worked thankfully but it was not enough to erase the images from his mind. Sometimes having an eidetic memory is really a curse.

He couldn't do those things to Amy. What if he hurts her and she wouldn't be able to tell him so? Some of the women in the video even have a gag to prevent them from speaking, combined with being tied down with a handcuff, there is no way they could express their worry in that position. He is quite bigger than Amy is and even though he does not use it often, he does have a physical strength that may cause unintentional harm if he's not being careful especially during an intimate moment where he could easily get distracted.

Later that night, he made sure to spend extra time kissing her and her body all over while whispering 'I love you's every time his lips leave the warmth of her skin. He made sure to go slow when he entered her, cherishing the way she feels around him and being grateful at one of the greatest gifts she has given him. Taking longer to pleasure her in every way he knows to. Using his fingers, lips, and tongue to bring her to climax before finally letting himself go. How could anyone want anything other than this? Isn't this the point of being intimate? The ultimate declaration of love?

After that, he drew Amy into his arms and leaned his head against hers and entangled their legs together. This is perfect, he thinks. This is how coitus should be like. That's why people called it making love instead of forcing yourself on your partner. Sweet and tender like Amy is. Her body should be cherished instead of being hurt like the males in the video did to their partner. He really doesn't understand how they could find pleasure when their women are hurting.

His musing was broken when he felt soft lips touching his neck, looking down at her emerald green eyes, he could not but feel overwhelmed by the love he felt for his woman.

"Not that I'm complaining but why are you being more affectionate than usual?"

He caressed her hair and kissed her forehead before answering her, "What do you mean? I'm just doing my husbandly duties."

Amy frowned at this, "This is the third time you are being intimate with me this week alone, Sheldon. You come to my lab during lunch break almost every single day even though there is no scheduled lunch date. You snuggle with me before we fall asleep and in the morning before we need to go to work. Are you having a crisis?"

At that, Sheldon frowned. Is he really that cold for her to wonder if he's having a crisis just because he's being more affectionate than usual?

"No, I certainly am not having a crisis."

"Is this about what we talked about last time? About spicing things up in the bedroom? I told you it doesn't matter to me, Sheldon. I love the way we are right now. I don't need you to change yourself just because someone else is doing those things."

"That's the thing, Amy! How do you know that what we are doing is enough if you never know any better?"

"Ehm.. Doesn't it mean that I'm satisfied for not wanting to try other things?"

Sheldon snuggled his wife tighter than before, "But what if you get bored of it one day and because I can't provide it to you, you will get curious and want to try it with another man? Someone who will be more willing to give it to you than I am?"

At this, Amy forced Sheldon to look at her, "Sheldon, like I said months ago, I could never be with anyone but you. Don't worry about it. I love you and that's what is important."

Sheldon give Amy a peck on the lips before replying with "I love you too"

Momentarily reassured, Sheldon managed to get a good night's sleep that night.

***

The next day he was in such a good mood that he decided to join his friends again for lunch considering that Amy had just texted him that she would take her lunch later to finish her report.

He was just about to approach the table where his friends usually sit in the cafeteria when his Vulcan's hearing picked up a tail of their conversation.

"-two more times. Bernie enjoyed it so much she promised me to wear that Leila costume I bought her this weekend. She even made my favorite meatloaf for tonight's dinner!"

Leonard and Raj chuckled at that, "Look at you, pleasuring your woman one time she offered you dinner as a thank you gift. Wait, you don't give her a thank you card, right? Penny said I should stop giving her a card whenever we do one of my fantasies."

"At least you stopped giving her an essay though."

A bit disturbed by the topic of the conversation, Sheldon was considering to head back to his office and eat his lunch alone as no matter how good he's feeling right now, such a topic is not something he's comfortable of discussing at the moment but then again, remembering what Amy said to him last night, he feels reassured and decided to just go for it.

"Good afternoon, everyone." Sheldon greeted his friends before sitting down to the last empty seat next to Leonard.

The conversation stopped abruptly when he sat down and he understood that his friends were reluctant to continue such a topic when he's around so he tried to assure them that he wouldn't mind joining the conversation especially when he knows that his sexual prowess is not put into question, "Even though I prefer a more stimulating topic to be discussed during lunch hour, I understood that bedroom endeavor is one of the things you guys like to overshare and also something that males use to tighten their bond to one another. Moreover, as Amy has said to me last night, there is nothing for me to worry about even as Leonard eloquently put it, I'm painfully vanilla, I would not mind for you guys to continue your previous topic of discussion."

Raj, Howard, and Leonard looked at one another as Sheldon started eating his lunch. To be perfectly honest, such a topic still bothers him but if he's outvoted then what could he do anyway? Maybe he could just tune them out and try to plan for his next date night? It's been awhile since he went to the zoo and there is also an opening for a koala habitat this month, maybe he could ask her to come to see it.

"Anyway, as I was saying, the girls are going to a naughty shop this Friday. They said they want to look at some things over there and pick something new to try on." Howard said as he picked up his sandwich to bite on.

Leonard smiled at that when he remembered Penny suggested the idea. He hoped she would buy that sexy pink lingeries he had been eyeing the last time they went there together, "Ah yeah, Penny was the one to suggest it. I can't wait to see what she will buy!"

At this, Sheldon perk up, "Naughty shop? What are they selling? How to misbehave 101?"

Raj chuckled when he heard Sheldon's question, "How to misbehave alright. They would certainly sell that kind of book although I'm not sure whether Fifty Shades of Grey can be used as a manual though considering it was the only book I saw in that shop. For quite a liberal place, that shop does not sell a lot of things."

"You have been to that shop?"

"Of course! This little piece of brown ass has been there a few times already even the clerk knows my name now."

"I don't know which one is more disturbing. Calling yourself a little piece of brown ass or you have been to a sex shop for so many times that even the clerk knows your name now." Howard said.

"Hey, I like to add flavor to my bedroom activities after all my people invented the kamasutra."

"Are you sure it's the kamasutra? Not how to become creepy with a few words?"

Sheldon looked horrified when he heard that there is actually an actual sex shop for his friends to frequent to, "It's a sex shop? What are they selling there?"

Leonard glanced up at Sheldon and decided to take pity on his confused slash horrified self, "Yes, there are some sex shops nearby. They don't really sell much actually, some toys, lubes, flavored condoms, lingerie, costumes, whips. You know, usual things like that."

Sheldon took his water bottle and gulped almost half of it before answering Leonard, "I never know that there's actually business out there. Why do you need flavored condoms? Even though I'm sure the owner of such a shop does not have a Phd in biology, they surely must know that a female's genitalia has no taste buds."

At that, Leonard, Raj, and Howard stopped to look at Sheldon, "I have no no idea this day would come but finally it's here for me to say, think Sheldon!" Howard finally decided to break the silence.

"Again, poor Amy or is it poor Sheldon? You know what, I don't want to know." Raj commented.

"Sheldon, you do know what blowjob is, right?" Leonard asked tentatively. How painfully vanilla could Sheldon get?

Sheldon huffed at the question. Of course he knows! "Of course, Leonard. Amy has done it to me several times already. It's just, I don't understand why you need the condom to have a flavor like I said before a female's genitalia does not have a taste bud."

"A flavor will make the act more, let's say, flavorful for the girls? After all, a male's genital is not the most flavorful." Leonard awkwardly attempted to explain it to Sheldon.

At that, Sheldon blinked once and twice, before "Oh but why do you need to use a condom while performing a blowjob? You are not going to get her pregnant if you release in her mouth. Has no one talked to you about this before?"

Leonard let out a frustrated sigh at that, "I know, Sheldon! I'm going to regret asking you this but have you never worn a condom while Amy is- Amy is performing a blowjob to you?"

"No. I never wear one. Amy is on birth control. Condoms are not 100% effective, you know?"

"Well some people wear it. It's less messy that way and instead of the taste of rubber, flavored condoms could make the act more bearable for women." Leonard explained again.

Feeling stubborn and a bit embarrassed, Sheldon replied, "Amy has no complaint so far. That is what good hygiene will give you, Leonard. Moreover, when the situation is reversed, I never asked Amy to put jam in her vagina to make it more flavorful for me. The taste of her is enough for me. In fact, it is the taste of her that makes me more-"

With that Howard put down his hands, he does not need to hear more than that, "Anyway, would you guys be coming as well to the shop with the girls?"

Leonard smiled at the change of conversation, "No, I will let Penny decide and not to mention, I like it to be a surprise."

"I might come." Raj said.

"Of course, you would." Howard replied.

"I will not be going, gentlemen. Like I said before, even if I'm painfully vanilla like you eloquently put, Amy and I are satisfied about our bedroom endeavors and we will certainly not need any aid in that." Sheldon said arrogantly.

"You might want to hold on to that thought. Penny said all the girls are coming so it means Amy is coming as well." Leonard replied while checking his phone.

At that, Sheldon is rendered speechless once again. What about her saying she doesn't mind him not spicing things up in the bedroom? Is she starting to lie to him as well now?

"Uh oh. Someone is clearly not satisfied with her 'bedroom endeavors'" Howard said while making a quote when he said 'bedroom endeavors'.

Feeling angry at Howard's comment, Sheldon was about to storm off of the cafeteria again but a feeling of insecurity left him immobile. He looked down at this half-eaten sandwich and suddenly not feeling hungry anymore, wishing he should have just stayed at his office instead of coming here. Maybe Amy has finished her report faster than she said she would and they could catch up their lunch break together at his office instead of being teased mercilessly by his friends like this.

"Hey, that was uncalled for." Leonard defended his friend. Even though Sheldon is a pretty vanilla guy, it's still not justifying Howard to make fun of him. After all, every person has their own preference.

Raj nodded at that before remembering the fanfiction Amy wrote a few years ago. Being included in girls' night certainly has its perks.

"You know, if you really want to know what Amy desires, she wrote a story about you two awhile back. I think it's about a time-travelling physicist named Cooper and her self-insert character named Amelia. It's a great story though. Maybe it can offer you an insight of what Amy wants of you."

Sheldon looked up from his lap and replied, "A story? What kind of story?"

"Ah yeah that! Penny read that to me. It was actually quite good but also can get pretty graphic as well. It's just what Amy fantasized about your relationship before you start growing your man's bits." Leonard remembered the night Penny read him that story and surprisingly, he did enjoy her story even though it was quite creepy considering it was written by her friend and about her fantasy on her boyfriend who happens to be your best friend.

That was interesting, Sheldon thinks. Feeling like a man with a mission, Sheldon decided his next course of action pretty quickly, "Where can I find it?"

"Just search it online. Amelia and Cooper the time-travelling physicist."

Sheldon nodded and got up from his chair, "Gentlemen, I believe I have a story to read."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this!
> 
> Hope you enjoy it :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Another update from me!
> 
> I'm not really satisfied with this chapter tho. It's like something is missing but I couldn't figure out what. 
> 
> I hope you still enjoy it :))

It did not take long for Sheldon to find the story and to say he was surprised was an understatement. The story itself is quite long but not long enough to be called a novel. It would take more than an hour to finish it but not consuming enough to take a whole day to read it. He looked at the date the story was last updated and found out it had been several years already, either Amy had abandoned it or the story was finished. It looked well-liked considering the many reviews she got which shouldn't have been a surprise for him considering Amy is a great writer.

When he started to read it, he found out that Raj was right. The story clearly mirrored their relationship and that Amalia character is so on point. The Cooper guy, on the other hand, seems a bit exhausting with his constant needs to berate and correct Amalia. Is that what he's like to Amy? An annoying guy who cares too much about semantics?

Oh well, Cooper did change in the end and they do have a happy ending. It's actually a great story, albeit a bit cheesy, and he found himself enjoying it more than he thought he would.

Stretching out from his chair in the office, Sheldon turned to look at the clock and was surprised to find it's already 3pm, another two hours before he could go home. Sending a quick text to Amy to make sure she would still pick him up later, he decided to continue, there's no point trying to finish his work today, there would be not enough time anyway.

Despite what Raj said, the story does not have a lot of sex scenes. In fact, the first time Amalia and Cooper did get physical, it's way at the end of the story. Amy clearly focused more on building the characters and the plot instead of falling to her salacious imagination and when they did get physical, it's not as wild as he thought it would be. There are seven couplings so far between Amalia and Cooper but all of them are not so different from what he usually did with Amy in the bedroom, well except for the places where the characters did it.

Cooper and Amalia are seemingly always stuck in inconvenient places where not in Sheldon's wildest imagination would be a suitable place to have coitus. There is a scene where Amalia is bathing Cooper and proceeds to another kind of activity after that. A scene where they got stuck in a barn in the middle of a rainstorm and decided to shed their clothes to avoid hypothermia but leads to another round of lovemaking. Two scenes where they got physical in public, more specifically on the side of the lake and on her front porch, and another scene where they, as Sheldon quoted here, ripped each other's clothes in the kitchen before Cooper takes Amy on the counter. The rest are mostly in Amy's bedroom. Sheldon could not help but notice that Amalia and Cooper did it everywhere like bunnies in heat but weirdly enough, her place is always empty of visitors or her other family members.

If Amy follows historical accuracy in her story, by the time Amalia is visited by Cooper, she should have been married to a family friend or something and considering her age, there should be some children as well. If she's not married then her family barn is supposed to be occupied by at the very least, her parents. Moreover, Amalia would not easily agree to be intimate with a stranger who claims he comes from the future but then again, this is a fanfiction and not a detailed documentary of a life in a barn.

Alright, Sheldon thinks. This is not bad. He can try some of the things that Amalia did with Cooper. Not the barn though, that would be unsanitary and too public. Maybe they could reenact some of the scenes together? He remembers when they were dressed as Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, that was fun and scandalous, and also very enjoyable. There was also her frontier dinner where he took the role of a humble farm boy and although in the end, they got food-poisoning, the moment before that was quite interesting.

Maybe they could reenact the scene where Amalia baths Cooper before they proceed to what Amy described as torrid lovemaking? He could try to do that even though he does not understand why Amy wants to bathe him but then again it would provide easy access for cleaning up later. They don't need to change the sheets, they could just take a shower after that, and he does love being pampered by Amy. Although, it's quite worrying to be doing that in the bathtub as it's very slippery and he does not want them to fall and hit their head while in the middle of something.

Saving the idea for later, he decided to stop reading her story. It's only an hour away before Amy would come get him so he might as well start to tidy things up.

***

Sheldon was distracted during dinner, trying to find the best moment to tell Amy that he's open to try new things in the bedroom but realized he needs the moment to be free of distraction.

It was only after they had finished with dinner and had freshened up that Sheldon decided it would be the moment he needed so he went out again to the living room and turned the TV on low volume, subtly inviting Amy to sit next to him.

Not a moment later, he felt the sofa dip beside him and found his wife sitting there.

"What are you thinking of?" Amy asked as she sipped her tea.

"Oh, nothing, just a story I read."

"What kind of story? Something fun?" Amy asked as she changed the channel to a news report.

Debating whether he should just tell her right away or not, he decided to treat this conversation as ripping off a band-aid, painful but fast, "Actually, it was quite fun. I believe you'd know this story, it's Amelia and the Time-travelling Physicist."

With that, Amy turned her head to stare at him, mouth agape. She picked up her tea cup, drinking the scalding hot tea in large gulps before putting down the cup again on the coffee table. "What do you think of it?" She asked nervously.

"It's a great story. You are a beautiful writer."

Amy put her hands down on her lap. That's not what she expected.

"Are you not mad?"

At this, Sheldon was the one who looked at Amy, surprised at her question. Why would he be mad? "No, why would I be?"

"Oh, I don't know. For writing a story based on our relationship and sharing it to the whole world to see? Including what I imagined our sex life would be like?"

Oh that. "I haven't decided yet. It's a confusing mix of feelings. Why did you write it?"

"You know I wrote that a long time ago, right? Way before you became comfortable with me. I didn't want to rush you but at the same time, my mind could not help but wonder hence the story. How did you know about it anyway? Did Penny tell you?"

"No. Why would Penny tell me? The guys told me. Am I the only one who didn't know about this?" Sheldon asked, a bit hurt that he's the one being excluded again.

Amy put a comforting hand on his shoulder, "I guess, yeah. The girls knew about it during one of our girls' night and I believe they shared it with their husband and Raj knew it from Howard. Don't be mad, Sheldon. If you knew back then, you would freak out."

That is actually right, Sheldon thinks. He was not ready back then and reading that kind of story is not something he would do in the first place especially when he knew the story is written by his girlfriend who was very keen in pressuring him to be more physical with her. Knowing about the story now, it's really a mix of feelings, sad from being excluded, befuddled on why Amy would write that kind of story, relief that he might find a way to know what she desired, and nervous about trying to replicate some of the steamier acts.

"Why did you read it anyway?"

It's simple really. He just doesn't want their relationship to be the subject of pity by their friends. He doesn't want Amy to feel bad about choosing him or come to regret her decision in marrying him but instead he said, "I want to know what you desire in our physical relationship and when Raj told me about that story, I thought it would be like a cheat sheet."

Amy gave him a small smile at his answer, "Did it work?"

"A little. Your story is very believable despite it's about a time-travelling physicist but then again if there is anyone who would figure out time travel, it would be me. The Cooper guy seems annoying though."

A soft chuckle could be heard from his wife, "Yes, he is but what I meant is why do you want to know what I desire in bed? I told you before what we have is very satisfying."

She did say that but with recent development, he's afraid that she is only saying that to make him happy, "Yes but I don't want you to get bored of it."

"Is this about the talk with the guys again about trying to spice things up?"

She knows him so well so Sheldon only nodded dejectedly.

"Why didn't you believe me when I said that I'm already satisfied?"

"Several factors. I noticed a different level of enthusiasm in our lovemaking between now and our first time, you mentioned offhandedly that you want to bring Gerald into our intimate coupling, and I know that you are planning to go to a sex shop with the girls this Friday even though you clearly said that you are okay with us not spicing things up in the bedroom. I could not help but feel that I'm not enough and one of these days, you will get bored of me."

The more he explained, the sadder Amy expression got. She gave him a look of pity and he could see that she was inching closer to him, like she wanted to comfort him but not sure whether it would be well-received or not.

"Oh, Sheldon. It's nothing against you. Of course it would be different from our first time. It's like watching the new Star Wars movie, it was very exciting when you watched it for the first time, right? But when you already know the story, the excitement is a bit different. It doesn't mean you don't enjoy watching it again and again after that, do you? I was only kidding with the Gerard comment, I have never used it anymore because I'm already satisfied with what we have ben doing and about that sex shop, I am just going to accompany the girls, nothing more!"

Sheldon still does not look convinced and his nervous tics are getting wilder as the moment passes so Amy said as she laid her palm on top of his lap, "You know, if you really want to spice things up, we don't need to start with something extreme and we don't even need to entertain the ideas that terrify you. You said it yourself a few days ago that the idea of tying me down or using toys are not something that make you comfortable, then we won't be doing that. We can start by something simple, like changing our position during coitus for example."

Sheldon took Amy's hand that is on his lap and held it against his own, absently running his thumb over her wrist.

"Position? I thought we have already tried some of them?" He looked up from his lap to see Amy's staring down at him. She looks calm but a bit sympathetic.

It has taken him years before being able to categorize human expressions and even though he's getting good at it, to understand the reason behind such expression is still a challenge.

He cursed his inability to discern emotion now more than ever. He doesn't understand what she means by trying out new positions, they have been quite adventurous if he'd say so himself. He prefers it when he's on top of Amy and her legs are on his shoulder or around his waist, perfect position to ensure the best movement possible. He could control the speed, the angle, but most of all, it put him in a direct line with Amy's breasts and face. He could look at Amy's face as he moves inside her, kiss her cute nose, or just bury his head on her bosom, tasting her. He could use his hands to caress her hair or plant another kiss on her forehead. It's perfect really.

Lately however, Amy has been quite keen on riding him but even though that position proves to be less effort for him and puts him in direct line with her ever so distracting pink nipples, he does not like the lack of movement that the position provides. There is also one occasion where he snuggled her from behind and used the proximity the position gives to thrust himself deeper than he had ever been before into her, unfortunately, even when he really likes the closeness their bodies are, he hates that he could not see Amy's face.

"Yes. Three positions so far and even though I enjoy all of them, there are so many other ways to make love."

He moved closer to Amy until he could feel the warm of her thigh against his, "What other positions are there? I also like them as well, Amy."

Amy gave him a small smile at that, "Well, the other famous position that I know is doggystyle so you-"

Sheldon cut him off before she could continue her explanation, "Doggystyle? Are you implying that we imitate the mating of a dog? You know I'm scared of dogs, Amy! What makes you think I would enjoy that position?"

Amy sighed at this. Oh the amount of patience she has for this man, "As I was saying, it's a position where you take me from behind. I would be on my hands and knees and then you will enter me from that position. It can provide a lot of room for you to move and yes, I do notice that you like to be in control with the pace so I thought this would be a good start."

Sheldon frowned at her answer before replying, "And what do you mean taking you from behind? Are you implying that I would enter you from your rear end? Amy, I know I said that I would be open to trying new positions but I don't think I can do that. The amount of germs that my penis would be contracted to! Not to mention, wouldn't it hurt you? Your rear end is biologically made for exit only!"

"Sheldon, that's not what I meant." Looking at her panicked husband, she quickly put her free hand on his cheek. Instinctively he leans into her palm, treasuring the softness of it. "And I know now that you won't be amiable to that idea so we will cross that as well. What I meant is just that, you will enter me as usual but from a different angle. In this case, I would be on my hands and knees and you will be kneeling behind me. We can try and if you don't like it then we won't be doing that again."

Looking at Amy's hopeful eyes, the instant 'no' that was on the tip of his tongue died out. He can try, right? Maybe he will like it although he despises the idea of not being able to see her face. Amy does point out he likes it when his movement is not limited and that position certainly promotes that advantage, "Alright. We can try. Let's go to our bedroom then."

He grabbed her hand and was about to get up from the sofa when he noticed that Amy was still sitting down without the intention of moving out from her position, "Now?" She asked incredulously.

Sheldon looked at her, confused "Yes, of course now. We have already eaten and freshen up, we don't have anything to do and it's still a few hours before my bedtime so let's go. Chop chop!"

Amy was still staring at him incredulously before shrugging her shoulder and stood up, "Might as well."

Hand in hand they went into the bedroom.

When they arrived at the side of their bed, Sheldon turned to Amy and put both of his hands on her shoulder, caressing it.

"You look beautiful." Sheldon moved closer to Amy, invading her personal space and pushing their hips together, making Amy gasp at the beginning of his arousal against her stomach.

Sheldon moved one of his hands to her waist while the other to the base of her neck, beckoning her face closer to him. He feels Amy's hands on the back of his head, making a mess of it. Sheldon slightly grinded his hip against hers and when he heard Amy's soft moan, he quickly closed the distance by capturing Amy's lips with a deep kiss.

Amy sighed and a shiver of contentment overflowed him. How dare his friends insinuated that he could not please his own wife. If they could look at him now, turning Amy into a pile of goo with only a small simple kiss. He's always good in everything he does, including this.

With a practiced ease, he unbuttoned her nightgown but got distracted by the swell of her breasts when his hands accidentally brushed against them. He moved his lips to her ear before going down to her neck, leaving a trail of kisses as his mouth went lower. With Amy's lips unattended, she lets out a breathy moan against his ear as he nipped on her neck. Oh! This is heaven!

He cupped her breasts through the nightgown and grinded softly against hers again. This time Amy pulled back. He looked confused before he realized that Amy was just taking her nightgown off.

Thinking it would be faster if he did the same, he mimicked Amy's movement and started to unbutton his pajamas as well. They silently undressed themselves and put their folded clothes on the nightstand next to their bed.

He sat down on the edge of the bed as he waited for Amy to finish her folding. It always takes Amy longer to fold her clothes but then again her neatness is compatible with him. When she's finished, he beckoned her closer by taking her hand and guiding her to stand between his legs. The sight of her never ceases to amaze him. She looks so lovely and with all the right curves.

With this position, they are almost at the same height and with vigor he resumed their previously interrupted make-out session as his hands sneaked to cup her swelling breasts. This is not enough, he thinks so he flipped them over on the bed. With this new position, it positioned him on top of Amy with his hip in between her thighs. He could feel the warmth of her labia on the lower part of his stomach but now, the pink blush of her nipples are the sole center of his focus.

He took one nipple into his mouth, sucking it slowly as he swirled his tongue around it. His hands are moving up and down again against her thighs. He felt her tremble so he moved his lips to her other lovely pink nub, giving it the same treatment as the other one.

He was about to move his kisses down to the loveliest part of her before once again, Amy stopped him.

"Wait, Sheldon. Let me get down on my knees first."

"Ehm, don't you want me to prepare you first?"

"I'm prepared enough. Let's go down to business!" With that Amy turned over and moved to be on her hands and knees.

Sheldon was quite baffled by the sudden change of event but decided not to comment on it, least ruining the mood. When Amy got into position, the only thing Sheldon could see is Amy's pale back and oh well, her delectable bottom.

He caressed the side of her hip slowly and was about to kiss her when he realized with this position, there would be no comfortable angle of reaching her lips so he kissed her shoulder instead, leaving a trail of kisses down her spine. It was nice but not as amazing as leaving a trail of kisses down on her neck.

Well, it does highlight the swell of her bottom and her bottom is one of his favorite parts. It's just, this position deprives him from a lot of her other amazing parts as well.

He moved his hand to caress her inner thighs and slowly entered two of his fingers inside her. Well, Amy was right. She does not to be prepared anymore because she's already so so wet. He moved his fingers slowly inside her and was welcomed by Amy's soft moans.

He really wants to kiss her right now and swallowed those moans with his lips but again he couldn't. He started to feel disconnected from her and when he looked up to seek reassurance, he was not met by Amy's kind eyes and sweet smile, only the back of her head. He's slowly losing excitement and the mood started to go down but he doesn't want to back down now. He said that he would try to like this position and Amy seems to be really into it, so he decided to just move to the next course of action.

Kissing her one more time on the shoulder, he slowly entered her from behind. First thing he noticed is he could enter her as deep as the snuggling position provides him to. Second, when he tried to move and get into a comfortable rhythm, he realized that this position provides a lot of space to move where he could easily control the angle of his thrust. Third, Amy's hip actually made a good place to put his hands to and control the pace but a few minutes into it, he started to feel empty.

It's a peculiar sensation. On one side, it feels lovely as always especially on the part where he's connected with Amy but on the other hand, he feels further away from Amy than ever before. It's like his body is there but everything else is disconnected. He doesn't feel warm in his heart as he usually does when he makes love to her. He just feels empty.

It doesn't even feel like making love. There's something rougher than that, something that reminds him of why there is a difference between making love and screwing, and this is definitely not making love.

He stopped moving after that and pulled out completely from Amy. He feels another wave of discontentment. His friends are right. He couldn't satisfy Amy even when she asked him a simple request of changing their position. He just couldn't go through it.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't do it." He said as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

Amy quickly moved to be next to him and put her arm around his shoulder, "It's okay, Sheldon. We don't need to continue. We can try something else later."

"No. Don't you get it? I couldn't even go through something as simple as changing our coitus position, Amy!"

He feels Amy hugged her tighter from the side and kissed his check reassuringly, "Sheldon, it's always trial and error with this. It doesn't mean you are bad at it, it just we need to try and find something that we both like. You know, we don't even need to continue with this trial and error thing! I don't even care about making our sex life more interesting because I already love our time together."

At this, Sheldon turned his head to look at his wife and found him smiling softly at him. This is what he enjoyed the most, seeing her smile, seeing her happy and looking at her like this, stirred up something that he thought was already ruined.

"Thank you for being so understanding, Amy." He rested her forehead against her while putting an arm around her waist. Amy smiled reassuringly and gave him a light kiss and when she was about to pull away, Sheldon grabbed her cheek to prevent her from doing so. He deepened the kiss and slowly pushed Amy back on the bed, covering her body with his.

He's lost in a series of sensations after that and when he entered her again, it was heaven especially as now he could see her face as she moans, kiss her as he moves inside her, and just buries his head on her neck. It was glorious! So different from the previous position where it provided him with nothing but a detachment. With this position, he feels more connected to her than ever, a stark contrast to that so called doggystyle.

But then, even as the feeling of pleasure grows within him and when they both reach their completion at the same time, he could not help but feel that he has failed, like he has disappointed Amy somehow.

There must be another way around this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!
> 
> To be honest, I really have no idea where this story is heading to, I don't have a set plot line yet :/


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the wait :(
> 
> Between my publication and thesis writing as well as my new story, I kinda forgot about this one :(
> 
> Here it is. I hope you enjoy it!

Days past after that and Sheldon was still apprehensive of what happened the last time he tried to spice things up with Amy and despite Amy's assurance, he still feels like he can do better.

Sex has never been a top priority in Sheldon's life and before Amy, he had never thought of anyone in that way, let alone to make the act more 'exciting'. The only other way he had ever thought of sex was due to his goal to gift humanity with his progeny, but after realizing that he can easily conceive a child through surrogacy, such an intimate act has never even crossed his mind anymore, hence his friends' assumption that he had no deal. They were not wrong per se but with the way his life had turned out, Sheldon wonders whether his lack of experience will make him less than the other guys.

Being near Amy and the other guys for almost every day also do not help this problem because it keeps reminding him of what he still fails to do while his friends manage to succeed with no effort whatsoever.

How can out of all the problems in his life, it's all coming back to intimacy? That has never been an issue so far until his Amy came and wreaked havoc into his orderly life. The weird thing is, he does not mind. He wants to do this, for Amy. After everything she has done for him, all the years she had waited, he wants to give her this. On the other hand, a small selfish and insecure part of himself also thought that if he's less than the perfect Homo Novus he claims to be, Amy would eventually leave him.

He spends a lot of his time just staring into space while his mind's blank. That rarely happens to him. Being a genius ensures that his mind is always running and occupied with anything and everything. Lately, however, his mind keeps running in circles, trying to think the best way to have coitus. He even tried to read erotic novels that made him blush with every word he reads, like Fifty Shades of Grey that he got from Penny as a joke and Kamasutra that the guys gave him just before his wedding. He never thought the books could be useful, not now, not ever.

Changing position? Most of them are so complicated that he does not even know how to explain it to Amy, not to mention, he's not sure his or Amy's body is flexible enough to do most of these positions. They don't even have the adequate body type to recreate even what the book is considered as average poses, not comfortably at least.

Lingerie? He doesn't see the purpose of it considering the most effective clothing to wear during coitus is nothing but if it's about increasing a person's sexual appeal, he wonders whether they have one made specifically for male as he thinks Amy's body is sufficiently arousing just the way it is without the need for any addition.

He briefly considers buying Amy a dildo or a vibrator as a lot of his readings suggested that such a toy would greatly enhance female's arousal especially the vibrating ones but he quickly disregarded that idea. He does not want another male's penis to be inside of his wife, despite it being just silicon made to look like a male's genitalia, what if that fake vibrating penis where you can choose its size and color is what Amy prefers in the future? He cannot compete with that as his own penis could not vibrate nor he is willing to undergo surgery to enlarge what he already has.

Handcuffs? Blindfold? No way in seven hells he would hurt his soft and loveable Amy willingly.

Oh God, why is it so difficult? Maybe he could ask Penny's advice for this? Considering the number of men that had graced Pennys' bedroom over the years he knows her, Penny seems to be the likely expert in intimacy compared to the other guys.

Yes, asking Penny for advice would be a great idea, he decided. He should pay Penny a visit sometime this week.

Nodding to himself, Sheldon looked over the clock on the side of his office's walls and found he had spent another day daydreaming without solving a single equation. It's a good thing that he had won the Nobel and graced Caltech with international prestige. President Siebert had given him a lot of leeways including bonuses that immediately went straight to his deposit, extended vacation days that he plans to save for later dates when he and Amy decide to have children, and of course a tenure even though being a professor is not something he enjoys. His professional life is doing wonderfully. It's only his private life that seems to be going down the drain once again.

Decided it would be a day wasted, he decided just to pack things up and wait for Leonard to drive him home considering Amy is going to meet with the other girls after work today and only would be joining him for dinner later.

While waiting for Leonard to pick him up, he opened his phone to browse a quick dinner recipe. Since living together, he and Amy have started to alternatively cook their own dinner. It is not something he enjoys very much but Amy made a convincing argument about saving up for their future family, so yeah, instead of doing takeout all nights, cooking seems a great alternative, not to mention, it also has a surprisingly calming effect on him.

"Hey buddy, are you ready?" Leonard peaked his head inside his office without knocking.

Sheldon sighed at this bad habit that his friend never seems to get rid of and nodded while gathering his messenger bag. They quickly got out of his office and locked the door before heading towards Leonard's car.

"The girls will still be out until dinner. Do you want to hang out at 4A while waiting for them?" Leonard asked.

Sheldon shook his head no as he still needs to make dinner before Amy gets home. If he hangs out with Leonard, he will not have sufficient time to finish their dinner.

"No, thank you. I need to make dinner before Amy gets home."

Leonard chuckled at this. The sound made Sheldon more confused, what's so funny about him making dinner? Honestly, his friends are so weird sometimes.

"You're whipped! Amy gets you to make her dinner. Not once in my life I have seen you willingly cook for someone other than yourself."

Raising an eyebrow at this, Sheldon answered "First, it's not only her dinner, it's my and Amy's dinner. I don't make it solely for her. I make it for us. Second, what's wrong with not wanting to cook for others when you have a lot of takeaway options? I have never seen the need to cook for you or the other guys as we have our carefully constructed schedule for our takeaway dinner. Third, Amy made a convincing argument to save up money by cutting our takeaway routine."

Instead of being offended, Leonard only smirked at Sheldon's answer before deciding not to reply to that.

"Do you know where the girls are? I need to make sure I choose a perfectly timed dish so it will be finished just when Amy gets home."

Leonard glanced at Sheldon's direction, "I think they are still going to the sex shop. Bernadette and Raj are also going. I don't know why that guy still insists to go considering his lack of love life right now."

Sheldon was surprised by Leonard's answer because he thought Amy would not go after the disaster that happened a few days back, coupled with her assurance of not needing anything from that despicable shop, he thought that's going to be the end of that. Turned out he was wrong.

"Why would they go to that shop?" His voice is getting higher and a wave of insecurity floods his feelings again. No, Amy is not going there because she finally decides he's not enough after their last intimate encounter. She said so herself that she would only be accompanying the girls. She would not buy anything, right? But, his traitorous mind supplied, the girls can be very persuasive and they're the ultimate blabbermouth with no regard to private matters like this. What if Penny and Bernadette share their more exciting sex life and Amy feels the one that they have right now is inadequate? What if they managed to pressure her to try something on and Amy realized all the things she has been lacking so far? What if.

"Most probably they're just going to take a look or buy a little something. I'm curious about what Penny will get. Do you think Amy will buy something as well?"

Leonard's answer did not reassure him at all so he decided to just stay silent while watching the scenery outside, hoping that Amy would keep true to her words.

By the time they arrived at the apartment, Sheldon quickly took off to the fourth floor before immediately entering the 4B apartment. He slumped on the sofa and shot Amy a quick text, asking when she would be home. When Sheldon got a text back from her, he decided to stop thinking where Amy is and what she's doing right now, and start preparing for dinner.

It was an hour so later than he heard the door's opening. Putting down the bowl of mashed potato he's making, Sheldon turned towards Amy, a smile graced his face.

"Hello, dinner is almost ready." Sheldon walked the short distance to his wife and greeted her welcome when he noticed a small bag that's on Amy's hand. It's a small bright pink bag with no brand of the shop printed on top of it and seems to hold several items by the sound of it.

"Hello. What's for dinner?" Amy asked as she allowed herself to be kissed by her husband. She puts down all of her belongings on the sofa except that small pink bag.

Sheldon looked at Amy curiously before answering, "Fried chicken and mashed potato. What's inside that bag? Did you buy another cosmetic?"

Amy blushed furiously at Sheldon's question, clutching the bag tightly, "Oh, nothing just something that Penny got me."

Sheldon frowned at her answer. Her behavior is unusual. He made a move to grab the bag, to check what kind of things their neighbor is getting for his wife before Amy hid the bag behind her, "What is it? Why did she give you something? We are not celebrating anything today."

"Yeah, just something that Penny got for me to try on. I better freshen up a bit." Amy smiled nervously and started to walk slowly to their bedroom but Sheldon was faster. He managed to grab her arm and took the bag from her. Curiosity got the best of him sometimes.

He opened the bag gingerly, considering this is Penny who got this bag for Amy, anything is possible. He was shocked when he looked inside as he cautiously took one item that looked like a brightly colored silicone male's genitalia out of the bag. It's a dildo, his mind supplied, recognizing the appearance from one of the videos he watched as a research a few days ago and if his memory is correct, the small button at the end of will make the toy vibrate. He was speechless. He flopped down on the sofa and put that despicable thing on the table. He's afraid to see what other things are inside that small bag. There are still two items left by the sound of it.

He looked up from his lap to see Amy who looked guiltily at him. She was fidgeting, like a kid who got caught doing something she's not supposed to.

Sheldon really does not know what to say. His mouth suddenly feels so dry.

"Sheldon, it's just a gift. I will keep these in the closet. I will not use them if you are not comfortable with it." Amy put a tentative hand on his shoulder and in a way it feels comforting but at the same time, a feeling of betrayal started to cloud his judgment.

He shrugged off her hand and looked at that brightly colored dildo again. It looks so unrealistic and distracting. He does not want to see it anymore.

"Give it back to Penny then."

"Oh, I-I, well. It's a gift, Sheldon. It would be rude to return it." Amy said as she put the toy inside the bag again, picking it up from the table and clutched it to her chest.

Sheldon looked at her confusedly. Didn't she say it herself that she's not going to use it? What's the purpose of keeping those items in their apartment then?

"You said it yourself that you don't want to use them. Why would you keep them?" Is Amy lying to him now?

Amy smiled nervously, "I-I might want to try them on later? You don't have to join if you are not comfortable with it, Sheldon. People can find pleasure by themselves, even those who are in a committed relationship."

Sheldon balked at her suggestion, "Are you saying that I should sexually gratify myself?"

Amy shrugged at the question, "If you'd like. I wouldn't mind. You are a healthy man and this would be good for your reproductive system."

"Amy, I have never had any interest in coitus before I met you. Why do you think I would enjoy this kind of activity without you being present?"

Amy is fidgeting, Sheldon observed and he's not sure why. It's no secret to both of them that she has a higher libido in the relationship but since their marriage, Sheldon has been trying to even out the playing field and show her how much he wants her. He thought that he's getting better at this, maybe it's not the case if Amy feels she needs other things to satisfy her. It makes him feel that he's not enough, especially in the physical aspect of their relationship.

He really does not know how to react with his new information. He even feels unsettled on how this plastic would enter his wife and touch the part of her that's supposedly only reserved to him. At the same time too he feels ridiculous about being jealous of a toy, it's not like Amy is going to run away with the toy. Right? He still provides her with mental stimulation that she clearly loves.

He knows that he should support his wife and says he's okay with her using toys but he just can't bring himself to do it. Whenever he opens his mouth to say it's fine, he chokes up with the image of Amy's pleasured face as her hand pumps the toy inside her most private part.

"Dinner's almost ready. You better freshen up." Sheldon said to her finally. He's not mad, just confused about how to fix the situation and erase this feeling of disappointment.

"Sheldon.." Amy reached for his hand but he turned too quickly for her to reach it. A few seconds later, Sheldon distinctly heard the door to their bedroom being shut closed, signaling Amy's exit from the room.

Sheldon mindlessly continued finishing up dinner, not thinking about the conversation he had just had with Amy. He silently rubbed his eyes as he stirred the gravy for the mashed potato, feeling drained out of a sudden.

How should he act when Amy comes back? Should he just pretend nothing happens when he wants to throw back the gift Penny got for his wife? Should he encourage her to use it? Does he even want to when he can't even stomach that idea? He's not comfortable with this and where it is heading.

Sheldon sighed again at the absurdity of the situation as he served his and Amy's dinner. He poured a glass of milk for him and ice tea for Amy. As he sat down, Amy reentered the room. She's looking a bit fresher than a moment ago even though she's still wearing her work clothes.

Amy smiled tentatively as she sat down.

"How's your day?" Sheldon asked her, hoping this start of a conversation can put the previous event to the back of his mind.

"It was okay. Do you really don't want to talk about this?" Amy asked as she put down her cutlery and shifted her focus solely to her husband.

"What do you want to talk about? Obviously, I'm not happy but that's your choice. I'm not going to forbid you if you want to seek pleasure in a badly colored, poorly manufactured, and God knows how many people have touched that thing before you use it in what I previously thought only me can touch!"

Now it is who Amy frowned at Sheldon's answer, "Now you are just being ridiculous. It's only a toy, Sheldon and I will obviously wash it before I use it. Don't make a big deal out of it!"

"Well, you were the one who said not going to buy that despicable thing! Does your word mean nothing now? Should I need to keep wondering whether the next words that come out of your mouth is the truth then?"

Amy stood up suddenly while not so graciously putting down her napkin on the table, "I didn't buy it! It's a gift from Penny. Maybe you should be angry with her instead!"

"Maybe I should!" Sheldon mimicked Amy's movement.

"Maybe you should!"

They are standing silently for a second before Sheldon dove in and captured Amy's lips in a heated kiss while his hands are desperately taking off Amy's sweater and blouse. When he managed to get them off, he considered briefly folding them down and putting them on the sofa before he got distracted with the feeling of Amy's covered breasts on his chest. Without much thinking, Sheldon cupped his wife's soft breasts, squeezing them gently before diving in for a harder squeeze. He believes the term is kneading her breasts like pizza dough. Sheldon could feel that her nipples are hardening through the bra she's wearing. He wants to feel them on his hands so without further ado, he unclasped the hook and threw them away, joining the rest of Amy's clothes on the floor.

He cupped her breasts again with determined desperation. He gasped for breath before delving in for a much-needed taste of her nipple in his mouth. Amy's hands are only urging Sheldon further as he sucks and sucks at her now erect nipples. He keeps switching back and forth like he could not decide with one taste better.

He does not even realize it that he's slowly pushing Amy back against the kitchen counter. With one last lick, Sheldon broke contact with her now flushed skin. He looked into Amy's eyes. He must look feral, he thinks as he feels his hindbrain is edging closer and closer to the surface.

Sheldon lifted Amy's up on the kitchen counter which put his line of vision back right in front of her soft mounds. His mouth watered again as his tongue is remembering her sweet sweet taste. They look so inviting, so pale and soft and just the perfect size for his hands to cup, and her nipples, God her nipples, they look like a freshly picked cherry, reminding him of the phrase with a cherry on top.

He does not want to be parted from this beautiful sight ever again so he delved in for another taste while squeezing the other, moaning softly against it as Amy's legs wrap around his waist. By the intensity of her moans, Sheldon can definitely tell that Amy is enjoying this rough treatment.

Sheldon feels like a man obsessed. He keeps saying that he shouldn't be mad but there's no other explanation for this fiery feeling inside him. He's hungry for his Amy and he's going to show her how well he can please her, making sure that whatever that despicable toy does to her, it could not be compared to what he can give to Amy. He's a man on a mission and Sheldon is nothing but someone who's going to finish what he sets his mind to.

He felt Amy's fingers on the edge of his t-shirts, edging him to take them off. Sheldon gladly did so before moving his now free hands to tug Amy's skirts and tights. After unbuttoning it, he managed to take them off in one go.

"Is this how you want it, Amy? Me taking you roughly on the kitchen counter where everyone can just walk in?" Sheldon whispered hotly on Amy's ear before moving those said lips on her neck, sucking it gently which sure is going to leave a hickey there.

Amy could only moan in return and tug his belt off to get what solely belongs to her. It's not the time yet so Sheldon moved her hands away from his pants and put them on his shoulder as he moved his kiss downwards, bypassing her ever so distracting breasts, and immediately dove into her vagina.

The scent of her overwhelmed him as he frantically licked and sucked her labia before making a circle with his tongue on her clit. This is not the first time Sheldon goes down on her, and still, it surprises him how arousing such an act could be. He should be disgusted by the germs but he's not. He loves every inch of her body, including her most private part.

He sucked and sucked before putting two of his fingers inside her wet folds. He was responded by a loud moan as he scissored her, slowly at first but gained an amazing speed as the time went.

He could feel how aroused she is by the dripping of slick on the now ruined kitchen counter. His tongue still switched back and forth between sucking her and lapping now engorged clit. He closed his eyes and just focused solely on the feeling, the taste, and the scent of her.

Suddenly he felt her walls clenched up before Amy cried in surprise as she came. That was fast, Sheldon thought. They have yet to reach the main event yet.

He gave her one more lick before withdrawing all of his fingers and replaced it with his now uncovered penis in one hard thrust. He didn't wait for her to adjust before setting up a grueling pace, pulling in and out as fast as he could get, hitting her deepest part in a fast rhythm.

This position, he decided, is amazing. He could see Amy's face, contorted in tiredness and pleasure, he could see her bouncing tits right in front of his mouth, an advantage that he took greatly, and he could set up the pace as well as the angle of which he drives into her. On top of this, if he just moves his body further down and encircles his arms around her, it gives him the closeness that the cuddling position gives while cushioning his head on her soft mounds and if he moves his face a little bit to the right, he could suck her nipple as he moves into her without the feeling of discontentment.

This is heaven. This is better than the missionary position or any positions that they have tried previously and looking at Amy's face right now with her hands braced on his shoulders as he moves again and again inside her, he knows that Amy loves it as well.

He got distracted again by her bouncing tits that are right in front of his vision so without even thinking about it, he delved in again to taste her, suckling it until it's wet and glistening with his saliva. He wounded his arms around her from previously gripping her hip. His hip keeps pumping back and forth without a break and he can actually feel a bead of sweat running down his back.

It could be minutes or hours but as he feels her walls contracting on his aching dick again, followed with a gush of wetness running down his testicles, he came hard inside her, moaning her name softly against her breast.

They stayed silent as he emptied out inside her. He could feel Amy's hands on his hair, caressing it softly. He gave her nipple one last kiss before looking at his wife, still joint at the hip.

"I-I like this position. We should do it more often." Sheldon said the first thing that crossed his mind and regretted it immediately. That's a very eloquent sentence, Sheldon berated himself.

He was reassured when he heard Amy's chuckles. "I love it too, Sheldon."

"Are you not mad for treating you this badly?" He tentatively asked. His deep fear is hurting his loveable Amy.

"The term is not badly but rough and no, I love it in fact. Are you not worried about the kitchen counter?"

Sheldon slowly pulled out from her and instantly regretted that action as it not only feels uncomfortable but without something to stop his cum, his cum is slowly dripping out of Amy and onto the kitchen counter.

It's the weirdest feeling, a part of him knows he should feel gross-out with a strong urge to purell every inch of this counter but the other part of him feels aroused at seeing the evidence of their mating dripping out on the hard surface.

He decided that if he can put his mouth on Amy's vagina without a single protest then this is not much different than that. He shook his head no as an answer and lovingly kissed her clit as a token of appreciation.

Sheldon then closed the gap between them and gave Amy a slow and sensual kiss that made her toe curled up. They broke apart after a few minutes and Sheldon started to pick up their discarded clothes.

"We should clean up. You go first, I will tidy things up over her."

Amy smiled as an answer and headed to the bathroom as Sheldon put on his brief and started cleaning the kitchen counter. When Amy returned with a sleeping gown, he went to the bathroom to change into his pajamas.

They continued eating their dinner afterward despite it being an hour and a half late. The topic of Penny's gift didn't even pass through their mind and Sheldon finally feels accomplished after a few weeks of disappointment.

This is a good start, Sheldon thinks as he starts to consider new possible and exciting ways to have coitus with Amy.

He's confident of his skills, he just needs to practice and not mention he's also a fast learner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I hope you enjoy this one :)

Weeks past after that and Sheldon thought that he already succeeds in making his sex life kinkier. That position certainly is the best one so far, so whenever he notices that Amy's kisses are leading towards coitus, he always makes sure that they end up in that position again, and again, and again to the point Amy started to get annoyed by their repetitive sex life. 

The thing is, Sheldon always a firm believer that if everything is great, why should there be any change? They enjoy themselves in this newly-learnt position, so why should they change it again?

Amy disagrees though, Sheldon thinks, by the way she arched her eyebrow whenever he tried to steer her to the kitchen counter when things got heated. 

She voiced her protest after the fourth time, and Sheldon is confused. If they enjoy themselves immensely in this position, why should they change it?

"Sheldon, can we do it differently?" Amy asked as she leaned her naked back on the kitchen counter, looking up through her eyelashes at her husband. Her nipples are standing for attention, slightly brushed Sheldon's own chest, distracting him further from Amy's question. They are so distracting, and he wants to capture it in his mouth. Sheldon couldn't concentrate other than the feeling of her perky breasts against his chest, or the smell of her hair, or the softness of her skin. What was the question again?

"Sheldon?"

This time Sheldon looked up after staring distractedly at his wife's breasts. 

"Yes, Amy?"

"Can we do it differently today? Maybe on the sofa?" At this, Amy grasped Sheldon's arms and started to steer him to their living room, but Sheldon didn't bulge. 

"Uhm, why?" He asked confusedly. 

Amy slowly moved her hands up and down Sheldon's arms, unintentionally making him distracted again by the feel of her hands on his skin. 

"We have done that in that position four times now, Sheldon. I get that it's enjoyable but maybe change is a good idea?" Amy asked tentatively. 

At that, Sheldon balked at her suggestion. Isn't the point of trying something new is to find the most preferable option? If they already love this position, change is supposedly not needed. 

"I thought we liked that position?" Sheldon slowly pushed Amy back against the counter to make his point clear that he does not want to change. 

Amy kissed his shoulder softly and laid her head on his chest, "We do but maybe a variety is needed once in awhile?" 

Sheldon circled his arms around her and brought her closer to him. This conversation had certainly killed his mood. 

Amy, who is standing from head to toe against him, of course, noticed his loss of interest. She looks a bit sad, Sheldon deduced, but he does not understand why. 

They were just standing there, holding at each other, with Sheldon's arms around Amy's shoulders while Amy's are on his waist. Sheldon kissed her forehead and was about to kiss her on the mouth to get back in the mood again when suddenly Amy pushed him away and looked at him straight in the eyes. 

"I got something that I would like you to try. Please bear an open mind at this and maybe try it first before you balk at the idea." She suddenly said. 

Sheldon, who's now more confused than ever, looked at her strangely. He's not 100% sure he would like Amy's suggestion by the sound of it, but he already committed himself to this endeavour, so he reluctantly agreed. 

With that, Amy walked into their bedroom, leaving her naked back exposed to Sheldon's watchful eyes, suffice to say he does need to get into the mood again to finish what he started. 

Not a while later, Amy came back, and Sheldon noticed that she got something on her hand. He does not recognize what it is. It looks brightly coloured from afar and small enough to fit inside her palm. As she's getting closer, Sheldon notices that it's made from silicone, but unlike that forsaken dildo, it looks like a small headband? It reminds him of something that Missy would wear on her hair while they were young. Does Amy want to tie her hair back? That's, well, that's not bad, just unusual, and Sheldon does not understand why she would like to tie her hair back now of all time they. Maybe it would give her a new experience? It certainly would be practical, and it would prevent a strain of hair gets into his mouth. Amy is so strange sometimes. 

"Do you know what it is?" Amy asked as she showed him what Sheldon assumed a tiny and a relatively thick headband made of silicon. 

Sheldon looked at Amy like she was crazy, "Come on, Amy. I know it is a headband. I have a sister, you know. The question is why do you want to wear one right now?"

Amy smiled mischievously at him like she knows something he does not. 

"I'm not going to wear it, Sheldon. You are." 

Amy seems so sure when she says, and this only confused him further. He does not have long hair like Amy so headband for him, is more or less, useless. 

"Hmm, I don't think my hair is long enough for me to wear that headband and why are you holding a remote?" Sheldon noticed that her right hand is actually holding another thing that looks like a small remote controller. This is getting more absurd for Sheldon. 

"Do you trust me?" As Amy put what seems to be a remote on the kitchen counter. 

"Ehm, yes? Why would you ask me that?"

Amy just smiled at him and leaned to kiss him. What started as a peck turned into a full-blown makeout season. It's a bit comfortable due to the height difference, but after years doing this with Amy, Sheldon already got used to the feeling. 

Suddenly Amy grabbed his penis and started to pump it slowly, bringing it back to life once more. Sheldon enjoyed the feeling immensely as Amy's soft hand circled the head, while the other continued to move it up and down his shaft. Her small hands could not engulf him completely, but the look of it on his aching dick indeed would become the highlight of many his erotic dreams to come. 

Just as Sheldon started to get lost in the feeling, Sheldon feels Amy is trying to put a very tight circle around his penis. At that, Sheldon opened his eyes and looked down, trying to decipher what the heck is going on down there. 

He was surprised when he found out that Amy is actually trying to 'tie' the headband on his penis. He really does not know how to explain the situation nor the feeling of it. It was uncomfortably tight, especially as Amy settled it on the base of his penis, it looks weird like putting together a child's toy on what only adults can touch, and overall it feels and looks like it does not belong there. 

"Uhm, Amy...What is this?" Sheldon asked as he tentatively touched the base of his penis that is slightly covered by a brightly-coloured silicone

Amy smirked at his reaction while still slowly pumping penis. 

"It's a cock ring, Sheldon." Amy leaned up, trying to get a kiss from her husband, which he willingly obliged. He still can't outline a coherent thought right now, especially as he feels Amy's lips on his collarbone while her hands still continuing their ministrations. 

"W-what for?"

Amy broke her kiss and smiled mischievously again at him. 

"You will see. Can we proceed now?" With that, Amy closed the distance between them and pulled Sheldon's closer as her back hit the kitchen counter. 

Sheldon was momentarily distracted by the feel of Amy's lips on him, but he managed to break it not long after to reach something that has been denied to him for so long now. He immediately picked Amy up and put her on their now regular coitus space, making her perky nipples in line with Sheldon's vision. He does not waste any more time before he delved into these delectable treats that reserved explicitly for his hands and mouth only. 

The cock ring on his penis is temporarily forgotten, but as Amy's hand is moving down there and lightly grazed on it, Sheldon jumps a little bit at the feeling. Now all the uncomfortableness and the weird feeling comes rushing down on him again. 

"That feels weird, Amy." Sheldon said as he looked into Amy's now worried eyes. 

"Do you want me to stop? We can always stop, Sheldon." 

The feeling is uncomfortable, yes, but not unbearable, and not to mention, Sheldon is also curious what this thing would do, so he shook his head no as he continued to suckle on her momentarily forgotten nipples again.

Sometimes Sheldon wonders, who likes this kind of foreplay more, him or Amy. Technically, this was supposed to be a pleasurable point for women, but between him and Amy, Sheldon is certainly the one who has a more unhealthy fixation on her breasts. Not does she mind though, Sheldon reasons. 

He just likes the feeling of her tiny nipple against his lips and the way it hardens in his mouth when he lightly grazed it with his teeth, make him want to suck on it more. Not to mention the way it tastes against his curious tongue, it's a familiar taste of heaven. 

As Sheldon was about to make her orgasm for the first time tonight with his mouth, Amy stopped him and instead took his penis on her hand and guided it inside her already wet folds. Sheldon was a bit disappointed as he wanted to taste her first before indulging himself in the warm and tight feeling of her most private part, but maybe Amy is as impatient as he is to know what this thing will do. 

It does not feel way different than it usually does. Amy is just as great as he remembers her to be, and the feeling of her inner walls certainly could make Sheldon forget everything else in the world.

Amy's moans matched his own as he started to deepen his thrusts. He didn't even realize that Amy's hand had grabbed the previously forgotten remote behind her back, but he will certainly remember the first time Amy turned it on. 

A sudden jolt of vibration runs through his body. He started to lose his balance as his legs slightly gave out by the sudden intense feeling on his dick. 

That headband vibrates! Sheldon only thought kept repeating itself in his head. Even when his legs feel like jelly, Sheldon feels like he's in a trance. He keeps pumping his hips shallowly against Amy and Amy, in turn, moans loudly when she feels the vibrating cock ring against his clit whenever Sheldon tilts his hip just right. 

It was the most intense feeling Sheldon ever felt. The warmness and tightness of Amy combined with a vibrating cock ring on the base of his dick was just too much for his mind to process. He just couldn't stop chasing this pleasurable feeling. The only thing he could do is just put his head on Amy's shoulder as his hip moved frantically, in and out, into the heaven that is his wife.

It must not be very long before Sheldon feels Amy's walls tighten against his over-pleasured dick, and it certainly brought another wave of stimulation against it. Sheldon could not think. He could only moan loudly against Amy's ears as his hip never seemed to stop. He was like a crazed man, and the only thing he lives for is the feeling of the moment. 

He closed his eyes as he felt a tightening on the lower part of his stomach, indicating that this moment is coming to its pleasurable end, but as he prepared himself for the onslaught of orgasm, he just couldn't reach it. No matter how hard or how fast he moves.

Sheldon gasped as his orgasm was denied again and again while the vibration only intensified the need for relief. 

"A-Amy, I-I can't, I-I can't" Sheldon stuttered was matched by the movement of his hip. 

"You can't what, Sheldon?" Amy's sweet voice seems to be a stark contrast to his own as she slowly caressed the back of his neck. 

Sheldon scrunched his eyes tight as the intense feeling of being denied his orgasm again. 

"I-I can't cum…" Finally, he managed to say. 

Amy's only answer is to wrap her legs tighter around his waist as she leaned down to whisper in his ear. 

"Do you like it?" 

Sheldon could only manage to nod as coherent thoughts started to leave his genius mind. 

"Good" With that, Amy pushed Sheldon slightly away from her, resulting in his penis being touched with the cold air of February. Sheldon shuddered at the feeling and thought that Amy is being intentionally cruel on him.

That's when he felt Amy's hand trying to ease the cock ring out of his dick without turning off the vibration. Sheldon watched the procedure with a fascinating curiosity. His penis looks like it's going to burst with blue veins popping up on the already reddish skin. As the cock ring is sliding down his glistening shaft, Amy covered her husband's newly free penis with his hands. Pumping it at a furious pace. 

"Look at me," Amy said as she tilted his head to be on the same level as hers. With a great reluctance, he opened his eyes at the same time as Amy sped up his ministrations.

That was his undoing. He moaned loudly while trying to keep his eyes on hers. His legs gave out at the feeling of immense release, and thanks to Amy, he managed to be able to regain a resemblance of balance. 

The feeling of relief never seems to end. He leaned his head on Amy's shoulder, sucking on her neck shallowly. 

As he tries to regain his breath, Sheldon feels Amy's rocking him like she's trying to soothe him, and at that moment, Sheldon feels so wonderfully loved by his wife. A crushing wave of affection washed over him, so he tried to channel that into his kiss.

"So do you like it?" Amy asked as she broke the kiss. Sheldon's only answer is to hug Amy tighter to his body, unintentionally pressing his penis into Amy's warm labia that caused her to moan again. 

He can say nothing. There is no coherent thought in his mind right now. He just wants to enjoy the bliss over this new territory in their sex life. It was only because of the vibrating sound of the cock ring that he got distracted. 

He gingerly picked it up, marvelling how such a tiny thing could bring someone immense pleasure. The vibration of the ring on his palm feels a bit weird like he knows how pleasurable this thing is if it puts on his dick, on his hand right now, it just feels unusual, like a vibrating headband. 

"Where did you get this?" His voice was hoarse, and he started to feel sleepiness come over him. This activity certainly drains him more than he would care to admit. 

"It was in the bag of what Penny gave me."

Oh, that damn infernal bag. Is she still keeping it then? 

"Oh, I thought you already gave it back to Penny."

Amy sighed at his tone and turned his head that was firmly locked on her shoulder to look at her straight in the eyes. Sheldon realized they need to air this conversation once and for all. Not the best timing but hey the faster, the better he guesses.

"Yes. I still have it." She does not offer more.

"What else do you have in there?" Sheldon wonders. He remembers that brightly coloured dildo but he does not remember seeing anything else other than that, even though he knows that there will be more than one item in that bag. 

Amy looks like she's thinking the best answer she needs to give him, "Well, there's the dildo you found. This cock ring. Then there is blueberry flavored lube and lingerie."

'"Oh, alright. What kind of lingerie?"

"You will see later but can I ask why are you so uncomfortable with me using sex toys, Sheldon? You certainly like this one." Amy said as she took the cock ring back from Sheldon's palm. 

With nothing to distract him, Sheldon stood up a little taller and caressed Amy's shoulders with his now free hands. 

"I don't like the idea of anything other than me being inside you. The thought of that brightly colored silicon that knows how many people have touched, inside what I thought is only I can feel, disturbs more than I care to admit. I'm supposed to be the only one who can bring you pleasure like that, Amy. You are my wife and when we're married, we made a vow that we would be faithful to each other. I thought it applies to every part of your body." Sheldon admitted sadly. He just couldn't bear the thought of that thing going inside his wife, bringing her pleasure. 

"Sheldon, why don't you tell me that you are uncomfortable with the idea?"

Sheldon sighed, "Because I want to try new things with you and if I balk at every suggestion, what's even the point of trying? I feel inadequate as it is compared to the other guys, if I say I'm uncomfortable, I'm afraid that you will find me lacking."

Amy pulled Sheldon into a consoling hug, caressing his back while at it, "You should have just told me. I would not be using it if you are uncomfortable with the idea. I just thought it was you being stubborn on new changes."

"Well, part of it is also true." Sheldon admitted. 

"Alright. I will be returning that bag to Penny come morning. Except for this cock ring, I don't think it's adequate to give something that has been on your penis to our neighbor." 

Sheldon nodded silently before deciding on something, "Just the dildo. Other than that, we will see, okay?"

Amy nodded and smiled, "Let's shower together. I feel as sticky as it is."

They walk hand-in-hand to their bathroom, and at that moment, Sheldon feels grateful to be given someone who's as patient as Amy, as understanding as her, and as considerate as her. 

What Amy said on their wedding day that her feeling might have increased as passing days might also apply to him because he feels more deeply in love with her right at this moment than he ever is before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> I will be updating the Alternate Pathway of a Physicist after this :)


End file.
